Retiring from the School Party Circuit

In years past, I’d be orchestrating a Valentine’s party at school. But now that my youngest has moved on to middle school, I’ve officially retired from the school party circuit.

There are plenty of things I’m sad about as my kids grow up. This is not one of them.

When you have five kids, you become a seasoned pro at school parties. Fall festivals, holiday crafts, Valentine’s extravaganzas—you name it, I’ve not only done it, but I could also write a dissertation on it. I run candy corn bowling like a champ, wield a glue stick like a superhero, and have survived glitter explosions–and lived to tell the tale.

And then, suddenly, it just...stops. One day, your youngest heads to middle school, and poof! Your party obligations vanish. I thought I might feel nostalgic. Maybe even a little wistful. But nope. Not even a smidge.

Honestly? I feel free.

But as I bask in my newfound party-free existence, I can’t help but remember one haunting incident: The Valentine’s Day Debacle.

It was with kid #5, in preschool. Valentine’s Day came, and I dropped him off without his valentines. No biggie, I thought. Surely, we sent them the day before. Right? Right?!

Wrong.

When I picked him up, the teacher gave me that look. You know, the polite-yet-judgy “your kid was the only one without valentines today” look. Oof.

I felt awful. There was my kid, surrounded by heart-shaped cards and candy, with nothing to give. Did he care? Probably not. He was likely too busy devouring sweets to notice. But me? I still feel the sting of that side-eye.

That’s the reality of being a mom of five. You’re on your A-game with the first few, but by the fifth? You’re just trying to keep it together. Forgetting valentines? Checks out. Showing up with store-bought cookies? Totally fine. Skipping the party altogether? Yes, please.

Now, with no more elementary school parties in my future, I’m hanging up my invisible room mom badge and retiring from the cupcake circuit. No more glitter crafts, no more juice boxes, and no more “whoops, I forgot” moments.

It’s the end of an era, and aside from the permanent glitter tattoo on my soul? It feels incredible.